Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
