I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize