My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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