I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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