Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
