his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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