okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
