We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
