I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
