I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
