Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just had sex on a roof
Randomize
