So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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