got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
