am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
