i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
No subtext here. People are naked.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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