Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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