Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
no, he came in my armpit
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
