2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Four minutes until I can fart!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
