i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
