so explain again why im purple
no
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
