We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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