no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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