Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize