I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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