so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I pour the whiskey from now on
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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