just tell him i said nine months
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
