bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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