Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
