i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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