I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
