hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
