okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize