He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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