If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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