So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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