Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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