good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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