I must be too annoying 4 u.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
