made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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