i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my being single is dangerous.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
