No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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