You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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