her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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