Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I need moral support for this bender
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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