Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
