But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
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