u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
nutella sex= disaster
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
