wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
