I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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