your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
