Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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