I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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