my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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