Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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