I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
be right there i have to get my cape
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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