No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize